Top 5 Professional Athletes – MORONS of 2009

5. Javaras Crittenton, Washington Wizards

Incident: Monday, December 21, 2009

Javaras is now serving one year probation for pleading guilty to possessing a firearm in the Wizard’s locker room. The gun was not loaded. Where were the Bullets? Why they have been missing in Washington since 1996! Javaras is MORON #5!

4. Gilbert Arenas, Washington Wizards

Incident: Monday December 21, 2009

Suspended indefinitely and staring down the barrel of NBA Commissioner David Stern’s gun for keeping firearms in his locker. And I quote, “It happened like Dec. 10. Right after my daughter was born,” Arenas said. “I decided I didn’t want the guns in my house and around the kids anymore, so I took them to my lockbox at Verizon Center…I wouldn’t have brought them(the guns) to D.C. had I known the rules. After my daughter was born, I was just like, I don’t need these anymore.”

Alright Gilbert, don’t lock them up at home, we know you cannot afford a gun cabinet. Take them to work with you so you can lose your job. Hello MORON #4!

3. Delonte West, Cleveland Cavaliers

Incident: Friday, September 17, 2009

Delonte was pulled over for speeding on his motorcycle and had two loaded handguns and a loaded shotgun in a guitar case. He has yet to be sentenced.

Yo, Delonte were you headed over with a little Heavy Metal to play Guitar Hero with your high school buds? Did I just say bud? No, he didn’t have any on him. Can you say MORON #3?

Tie 2. Plaxico Burress, New York Giants

Sentenced: Tuesday, September 22, 2009

In 2008, Plaxico Burress was the hero catching the game winning touchdown from Eli Manning in the Super Bowl to beat the New England Patriots. In 2009, he received a sentence of 2 years in prison for shooting himself in the leg in a New York City Night Club. The gun was not in a holster and slipped down his pants.

Better keep that gun in your holster Plex-i-glass or you know what happens you bad boy!

Bullet in your leg

Bullet in your leg

Lookin’ Like a Fool

With a bullet in your leg

With the gold in your mouth

Hat turned sideways

Bullet in your leg

Lookin’ like a tie for MORON #2!

Tie 2. Dante Stallworth, Cleveland Browns

Incident: Saturday, March 14, 2009

Dante hit and killed a man crossing the street in Downtown Miami, Florida in his Bentley. Stallworth got 30 days in the slammer and paid the family an undisclosed amount of money for their loss. He was driving under the influence of alcohol with a blood alcohol level of .126.

He did get two years of house arrest and should be inviting Delonte West over for a game of “Guitar Zero” on the Wii soon! Hit and tie for MORON #2!

1. Tiger Woods, PGA Tour UnProfessional

Incidents: Too many dates to name

Tiger slept with everyone from who knows when to 2009. He even bagged a Porn star at his bachelor party. At last note, he was being treated for sex addiction at a posh clinic somewhere in the South. The scandal came out after he wrecked his SUV while backing out of his driveway and ended up in the middle of the road while the neighbors called 911. The National Inquirer claims his hired help offered $200K to an affair witness to keep that person hush hush. He also asked one of his special friends to change the message on her voicemail because his wife might call her.

Someone please tell me how the most admired man in all of sports can carry on years of cheating on his wife Elin and nobody says a word to get him busted? Talk about walking on water. I don’t think a joke is even necessary at this point. Maybe all men should bow to the real King of Sports! Hey LeBron you’ve just been dethroned by a golfer! Tiger Woods..King of all MORONS!

Sources: www.huffingtonpost.com, www.cleveland.com, www.nytimes.com, www.nypost.com, www.washingtonpost.com

Ten Things You Probably Don’t Know About Tiger Woods

1. Tiger has three siblings. His brothers are Earl Jr. and Kevin. He has a sister named Royce.

2. His real name is Eldrick Tont Woods.

3. His college teammates called him “Urkel”.

4. Tiger refers to his ethnic makeup as “Cablinasian”. This stands for Caucasian, Black, American Indian and Asian.

5. Woods is Buddhist.

6. He was introduced to his wife Elin by Jesper Parnevik. Elin worked for Jesper as his au pair.

7. He and his wife also own homes in Wyoming,  California and Sweden.

8. Tiger majored in Economics at Stanford for two years where he won NCAA medalist honors and Stanford’s Freshman of the Year(for all sports).

9. He named his first born Sam(girl), because his dad said he looked more like a Sam than a Tiger.

10. Woods has not only a foundation but also The Tiger Woods Learning Center. This is a 35,000-square-foot educational facility in California with seven classrooms, multi-media facilities and an outdoor golf teaching area.

Contributing source: en.wikipedia.org/wiki

Photo: AP

Tiger vs. The Golden Bear; A Look at the Two Greatest Golfers of Our Time

On Wednesday in Dublin, Ohio, the two biggest modern day influences on the game of golf will compete in an eight-player skins game. Tiger Woods and Jack Nicklaus have won a combined 32 major titles in their career.

Sixty-nine year old Nicklaus, the Memorial Host, will play in the same foursome as thirty-three year old Woods. All eyes will be focused on this group as although separated by thirty-six years in life, the two have little separation in their success on the golf course. These two amazing professional athletes have more in common than one could imagine.

Both golfers finished as NCAA Champions in their collegiate careers. Woods won Medalist honors in 1996 while playing for Stanford University. Thirty-five years earlier in 1961, Nicklaus raised the college trophy as the #1 golfer in the NCAA while playing for The Ohio State University.

Tiger won two US Amateur titles while in college(1995 and 1996) as did The Golden Bear(1959 and 1961).

Incredibly the two golfers both won the Silver medal at The US Open while in college. Woods shot 281 in 1996 at age 20. Thirty-six years earlier, Nicklaus lost the US Open by 2 strokes to Arnold Palmer shooting 282. Jack was also 20!

But the one thing these individuals would not like to have in common is the loss of their fathers when they were both 30.

Woods father, Earl, died of prostate cancer on May 3, 2006. Tiger took a nine week break from the PGA. He recorded eleven wins in ’06, despite the necessary time off, including two majors. After winning the British Open at Royal Liverpool and finishing -18, Woods showed his emotion to the world breaking down and crying while remembering his mentor and best friend.

In 1970, Jack won the British Open. Nicklaus threw his putter into the air after sinking the winning putt, as he was thrilled to have won the Open at the home of golf, St. Andrews. His father, Charlie, died shortly after his victory.

Muirfield Village Golf Club will be the focus of golf fans everywhere on a day that has nothing to do with who wins the match and everything to do with the moment. When these two giants in the game of golf tee off from the 10^th hole on Wednesday, all eyes will be fixed on their every move.

Hopefully Earl and Charlie will be grinning from ear to ear looking down at the two greatest players of our time.

A Look at the Pro Careers of Eldrick Tont Woods and Jack William Nicklaus:

Golfer          Pro Wins   PGA Wins  Major Wins   Earnings

Tiger                  90                66                14           $84,226,689.

Golden Bear  113                73                18              $8,755,407.

Contributing sources: en.wikipedia.org/wiki

Photo: Ted S. Warren/AP