Top 5 Professional Athletes – MORONS of 2009

5. Javaras Crittenton, Washington Wizards

Incident: Monday, December 21, 2009

Javaras is now serving one year probation for pleading guilty to possessing a firearm in the Wizard’s locker room. The gun was not loaded. Where were the Bullets? Why they have been missing in Washington since 1996! Javaras is MORON #5!

4. Gilbert Arenas, Washington Wizards

Incident: Monday December 21, 2009

Suspended indefinitely and staring down the barrel of NBA Commissioner David Stern’s gun for keeping firearms in his locker. And I quote, “It happened like Dec. 10. Right after my daughter was born,” Arenas said. “I decided I didn’t want the guns in my house and around the kids anymore, so I took them to my lockbox at Verizon Center…I wouldn’t have brought them(the guns) to D.C. had I known the rules. After my daughter was born, I was just like, I don’t need these anymore.”

Alright Gilbert, don’t lock them up at home, we know you cannot afford a gun cabinet. Take them to work with you so you can lose your job. Hello MORON #4!

3. Delonte West, Cleveland Cavaliers

Incident: Friday, September 17, 2009

Delonte was pulled over for speeding on his motorcycle and had two loaded handguns and a loaded shotgun in a guitar case. He has yet to be sentenced.

Yo, Delonte were you headed over with a little Heavy Metal to play Guitar Hero with your high school buds? Did I just say bud? No, he didn’t have any on him. Can you say MORON #3?

Tie 2. Plaxico Burress, New York Giants

Sentenced: Tuesday, September 22, 2009

In 2008, Plaxico Burress was the hero catching the game winning touchdown from Eli Manning in the Super Bowl to beat the New England Patriots. In 2009, he received a sentence of 2 years in prison for shooting himself in the leg in a New York City Night Club. The gun was not in a holster and slipped down his pants.

Better keep that gun in your holster Plex-i-glass or you know what happens you bad boy!

Bullet in your leg

Bullet in your leg

Lookin’ Like a Fool

With a bullet in your leg

With the gold in your mouth

Hat turned sideways

Bullet in your leg

Lookin’ like a tie for MORON #2!

Tie 2. Dante Stallworth, Cleveland Browns

Incident: Saturday, March 14, 2009

Dante hit and killed a man crossing the street in Downtown Miami, Florida in his Bentley. Stallworth got 30 days in the slammer and paid the family an undisclosed amount of money for their loss. He was driving under the influence of alcohol with a blood alcohol level of .126.

He did get two years of house arrest and should be inviting Delonte West over for a game of “Guitar Zero” on the Wii soon! Hit and tie for MORON #2!

1. Tiger Woods, PGA Tour UnProfessional

Incidents: Too many dates to name

Tiger slept with everyone from who knows when to 2009. He even bagged a Porn star at his bachelor party. At last note, he was being treated for sex addiction at a posh clinic somewhere in the South. The scandal came out after he wrecked his SUV while backing out of his driveway and ended up in the middle of the road while the neighbors called 911. The National Inquirer claims his hired help offered $200K to an affair witness to keep that person hush hush. He also asked one of his special friends to change the message on her voicemail because his wife might call her.

Someone please tell me how the most admired man in all of sports can carry on years of cheating on his wife Elin and nobody says a word to get him busted? Talk about walking on water. I don’t think a joke is even necessary at this point. Maybe all men should bow to the real King of Sports! Hey LeBron you’ve just been dethroned by a golfer! Tiger Woods..King of all MORONS!

Sources: www.huffingtonpost.com, www.cleveland.com, www.nytimes.com, www.nypost.com, www.washingtonpost.com