Courtesy of theinsider.com

5. Javaras Crittenton, Washington Wizards

Incident: Monday, December 21, 2009

Javaras is now serving one year probation for pleading guilty to possessing a firearm in the Wizard’s locker room. The gun was not loaded. Where were the Bullets? Why they have been missing in Washington since 1996! Javaras is MORON #5!

4. Gilbert Arenas, Washington Wizards

Incident: Monday December 21, 2009

Suspended indefinitely and staring down the barrel of NBA Commissioner David Stern’s gun for keeping firearms in his locker. And I quote, “It happened like Dec. 10. Right after my daughter was born,” Arenas said. “I decided I didn’t want the guns in my house and around the kids anymore, so I took them to my lockbox at Verizon Center…I wouldn’t have brought them(the guns) to D.C. had I known the rules. After my daughter was born, I was just like, I don’t need these anymore.”

Alright Gilbert, don’t lock them up at home, we know you cannot afford a gun cabinet. Take them to work with you so you can lose your job. Hello MORON #4!

3. Delonte West, Cleveland Cavaliers

Incident: Friday, September 17, 2009

Delonte was pulled over for speeding on his motorcycle and had two loaded handguns and a loaded shotgun in a guitar case. He has yet to be sentenced.

Yo, Delonte were you headed over with a little Heavy Metal to play Guitar Hero with your high school buds? Did I just say bud? No, he didn’t have any on him. Can you say MORON #3?

Tie 2. Plaxico Burress, New York Giants

Sentenced: Tuesday, September 22, 2009

In 2008, Plaxico Burress was the hero catching the game winning touchdown from Eli Manning in the Super Bowl to beat the New England Patriots. In 2009, he received a sentence of 2 years in prison for shooting himself in the leg in a New York City Night Club. The gun was not in a holster and slipped down his pants.

Better keep that gun in your holster Plex-i-glass or you know what happens you bad boy!

Bullet in your leg

Bullet in your leg

Lookin’ Like a Fool

With a bullet in your leg

With the gold in your mouth

Hat turned sideways

Bullet in your leg

Lookin’ like a tie for MORON #2!

Tie 2. Dante Stallworth, Cleveland Browns

Incident: Saturday, March 14, 2009

Dante hit and killed a man crossing the street in Downtown Miami, Florida in his Bentley. Stallworth got 30 days in the slammer and paid the family an undisclosed amount of money for their loss. He was driving under the influence of alcohol with a blood alcohol level of .126.

He did get two years of house arrest and should be inviting Delonte West over for a game of “Guitar Zero” on the Wii soon! Hit and tie for MORON #2!

1. Tiger Woods, PGA Tour UnProfessional

Incidents: Too many dates to name

Tiger slept with everyone from who knows when to 2009. He even bagged a Porn star at his bachelor party. At last note, he was being treated for sex addiction at a posh clinic somewhere in the South. The scandal came out after he wrecked his SUV while backing out of his driveway and ended up in the middle of the road while the neighbors called 911. The National Inquirer claims his hired help offered $200K to an affair witness to keep that person hush hush. He also asked one of his special friends to change the message on her voicemail because his wife might call her.

Someone please tell me how the most admired man in all of sports can carry on years of cheating on his wife Elin and nobody says a word to get him busted? Talk about walking on water. I don’t think a joke is even necessary at this point. Maybe all men should bow to the real King of Sports! Hey LeBron you’ve just been dethroned by a golfer! Tiger Woods..King of all MORONS!

Sources: www.huffingtonpost.com, www.cleveland.com, www.nytimes.com, www.nypost.com, www.washingtonpost.com

Top 10 Most Beloved Play-by-Play Announcers in Alphabetical Order:

Marty Brennaman was the “voice” of the Cincinnati Reds for more than three decades. He covered the “Big Red Machine” with Pete Rose, Johnny Bench and George Foster.

Jack Brickhouse covered the Chicago Cubs and Chicago White Sox from 1948 – 1981 on WGN-TV. Brickhouse is also remembered for his coverage of the 1954 World Series, describing Willie Mays’ famous catch in game one.

Harry Caray is best known for his work with the Chicago Cubs and his rendition of Take Me Out to the Ballgame during the 7^th inning stretch.

Ernie Harwell enjoyed one of the longest careers in baseball broadcasting serving 55 years. He spent 42 of those seasons with the Detroit Tigers.

Chick Hearn was the legendary voice of the Los Angeles Lakers. He holds the record for most consecutive games broadcast and invented several basketball terms.

Harry Kalas, winner of the 2002 Ford C. Frick Award, broadcast Philadelphia Phillies games from 1971 to 2009.

Ralph Kiner, Hall of Fame player for the Pittsburgh Pirates and original broadcaster for the New York Mets. Kiner is the longest running broadcaster for the Mets in their History. He has worked on broadcasts since 1962.

Johnny Most was the longtime voice of the Boston Celtics from 1953-1990. Many Celtics fans were known to turn down their television sets and listen to his call on the radio.

Sam Rosen is the longtime and legendary television voice of the New York Rangers and NHL Radio. He also calls the NFL on FOX.

Vin Scully has worked more than half a century with the Dodgers, beginning in Brooklyn and then moving to Los Angeles. Scully has worked many national assignments including the MLB Game of the Week.

Announcers With the Top 5 “Voices” in Play-by-Play:

1. Mel Allen was a best known as being the “Legendary Voice of the New York Yankees”. He is also known for being the host of This Week in Baseball.

2. Bob Costas is renowned for his Olympic coverage. He has also worked for Major League Baseball, NBC sports and on many other broadcast teams.

3. Al Michaels is most famous for his play-by-play role on Monday Night Football which he performed for 19 years. He was also one of the announcers of the 1980 “Miracle on Ice” Winter Olympics hockey game.

4. Harry Kalas was known as the voice of NFL Films. Kalas died in the Philadelphia Phillies broadcast booth shortly before a game on April 13, 2009.

5. Marv Albert is commonly referred to as “the voice of basketball.” He is currently covering the NBA playoffs.

The Best Play-by-Play Announcers of All-Time in Alphabetical Order:

Mel Allen was the famous voice of the Yankees and New York Giants. Most celebrated as the host of This Week in Baseball.

Don Chevrier built his football play-by-play reputation in a number of markets and sports. He was the voice of three different CFL teams including the Edmonton Eskimos, the Ottawa Rough Riders and the Montreal Alouettes. He was a network commentator for regular season games on the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation or CBC.

Bob Costas has covered virtually every major sport for NBC as a play-by-play man. He has been a studio host, and even hosted his own late-night talk show on NBC.

Mike Emrick is the voice of the New Jersey Devils and the primary announcer on the NHL on Versus. He also covers NHL for NBC. He is considered by many as the greatest announcer in the history of the NHL.

Dick Enberg is best known for his role as the announcer for Wimbledon. He has worked for NBC, CBS and ABC. The Los Angeles Angels and Los Angeles Rams are also on his resume.

Curt Gowdy is famous for announcing the NBC Game of the Week. He has also been the primary play-by-play man for the Boston Red Sox. Gowdy has worked in the NFL and announced Super Bowl I.

Foster Hewitt, the first and still best-known voice for Hockey Night in Canada for the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. On May 24, 1925, Hewitt and his father made what was said to be the world’s first broadcast of a horse race.

Keith Jackson was the voice of college football for ABC Sports for many years. He also was the very first play-by-play man for Monday Night Football where he first worked with Howard Cosell in 1970.

Al Michaels is well known for his work on ABC’s Monday Night Football and now working with Sunday Night Football on NBC. Michaels has announced virtually every major sport, including NBA basketball, Major League Baseball, and ice hockey on both the NHL and Olympic level. He was the announcer for the Cincinnati Reds before Marty Brennaman.

Pat Summerall, a top NFL player in his own right for many years partnered with John Madden on NFL games with CBS and FOX, and also on many golf telecasts.

They said it:

Russ Hodges did play-by-play for several teams, most notably the New York and San Francisco Giants. Hodges was at the microphone on local radio for Bobby Thomson’s “Shot Heard ‘Round the World “. It was Hodges who cried, “The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant!…”

Bob Murphy is a Hall of Fame announcer and original broadcaster for the New York Mets. Murphy’s most famous call is Bill Buckner’s ground ball error in Game 6 of the 1986 World Series at Shea Stadium, “And the pitch by Stanley…a ground ball, trickling..it is a fair BALL! GETS BY BUCKNER!! ROUNDING THIRD, KNIGHT, THE METS WIN! THEY WIN!”.

Ralph Kiner’s most famous call came when the Mets won their first National League Pennant in 1969, “So the Mets are won out away from their impossible dream, pitch is a curve, topped out to third, Garret has the ball, he THROWS TO FIRST, and the New York Mets are the National League Champions.”

Al Michaels has had many famous calls but his most memorable came in 1980 at the Winter Olympics during the USA versus USSR hockey game. “Do you believe in miracles? YES!”

Johnny Most may have the most famous call in NBA history. “Havlicek steals it! Havlicek stole the ball!” this happened after Havlicek intercepted Hal Greer’s inbound pass to clinch the Eastern Conference Championship against the Philadelphia 76ers.

Coined phrases:

Ernie Harwell, long-time announcer for the Detroit Tigers has his own trademark phrases.

“That ball is loooong gone!”, and “He stood there like the house by the side of the road.”

Chick Hearn the former LA Lakers play-by-play legend invented several terms including, “Slam Dunk!”

Harry Kalas of the Phillies broadcast team is known for the phrase, “LONG DRIVE! Watch that baby…OUTTA HERE!”( for home runs)

Dave Niehaus has been the voice of the Seattle Mariners since the franchise’s birth in 1977. His signature calls are “Fly Away” (for home runs) “Get out the rye bread and mustard grandma, it’s Grand Salami Time” (for Grand Slams).

Joe Tait has been the Cleveland Cavaliers for 37 years with a 2 year break in the 1980’s he has many Taitisms including, “Wham with the right hand,” and “Three ball….Got it.”

Contributing source: http://en.wikipedia.org

photos: AP

So, last night was poker night and in the spirit of gambling, we take numerous opportunities to side bet anything and everything.

A pocket full of 20’s is a requirement to get into the action. No one makes change and the bets are always in multiples of 20, like the buy-in at the table. If there wasn’t anything to bet on, we would just play the serial numbers on the front of Andrew Jackson.

The barn on my buddy John’s property we play in looks more like a ski lodge than a poker room; fireplace, leather couches and all the trimmings. Every time I play cards with these guys, we have the 100 inch plus screen rolled down with some sort of game on.

Noticing out of the corner of my left eye that Orlando and Boston had less than 2 minutes to play, I looked to my left and said, “You wanna bet on the finish of this game?”

Now, you have to know the guy to my left I was asking.

Let me describe him briefly. He is a physician by trade and in the latter part of his career. He loves to argue over just about anything that exists. His famous line of “that’s not the point” annoys everyone listening, but we all still like him. Let’s call him Jack for all intensive purposes. That’s short for Jack (fill in the blank)!

Always the loudest guy at the table, you never lose track of where the blinds are when Jack is playing. No buttons necessary, just forget to blind up and you will hear it as soon as the first card drops out of the dealer’s hand.

I have known Jack for several years, but in the last two years have seen him on a regular basis because he is good friends with John.

If a card drops on the floor and the players at the table can’t see it, Jack would want to throw down a 20 and ask, “Who wants to bet that card landed right side up?”

So, my asking for a bet on the end of the Orlando Magic versus Boston Celtics game was accepted before I could hardly utter the word “bet”. Knowing that he loathes Stan Van Gundy made my selection of the Magic even easier.

Orlando was up by 3 points and since time was a factor, Jack said, “I’ll take Boston, but you gotta give me at least a point.” I didn’t hesitate knowing the Magic had the lead.

With 15 seconds left to go, I lifted the cash off the table and heard him groan, “It figures I hexed them.” Final score a 7 point victory for me(remember I gave him 1 point), 83-75. Beautiful!

This eased the fact I had already been knocked out of the first game of poker without re-buying and had lost a 20 spot about 5 minutes earlier on a side bet of whose hand would win in a four way heads-up showdown. No surprise, Jack was in on this one and bet on two of the hands. He lost that bet too! Last night just didn’t seem like Jack’s night.

With the Celtics tied in the series, Jack is getting a little upset. Mad, partly because of “the moron” Van Gundy, as he sees it and also because of a bet he made with me at the beginning of the season. The wager was made at poker when the Cleveland Cavaliers acquired Mo Williams.

I asked the 12 guys sitting at the table that night, what they thought of the acquisition? He immediately fired up with one of his Jackisms, “It isn’t gonna matter who they pick up, they suck anyways.” I took offense to this being a huge Cavs fan.

The old saying is “put your money where your mouth is.” So I asked, “You want to put $500 on that ridiculous statement?”

Jack rarely turns down the opportunity to show you “what the point is.”

He yells out, “I’ll bet you $5000 to your $500 that the Cavaliers won’t win the title this year.” He then starts laughing like he is the all knowing Jack someone tells to pipe down at least two times a night when we play.

LeBron James plays for the Cavs and I felt then the same way I do now, no championship this year and LeBron will bail when his contract ends. This will be the death of the Cavaliers franchise. They have to win.

I was going to take the bet $500 straight up, but now I am getting 10-1 odds. Not bad.

Poker night ended well for me and okay for Jack as I won the second game after 2 re-buys and he finished second. He re-bought twice near the end of the game when he busted out, after the table was down from the original 9 players to 4. He and I took more chances than the rest of the table, but it ended up working out for both of us. Jack left the barn losing less money than he would have, complaining that he would be awake another two hours watching the Los Angeles Lakers and Houston Rockets.

Jack also has a bet that the Denver Nuggets will be playing Cleveland in the NBA Finals.

Winning that bet or the bet against me is “not the point.”

The point, according to Jack, “has nothing to do with money and everything to do with pride.”

I was proud of both of my victories over Jack and winning the majority of the $20 bills that left the poker table last night.

Here’s hoping the Cavaliers win the NBA title and I get $5000 worth of pride!

photo: AP

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photo by Tim Black www.BlackandWhiteServices.org

Marty Rice owns two small businesses in Mansfield, Ohio and owning a successful company in 2009 is much more difficult than it was even a few short years ago. His corrugated box company, Mr. Box Plus, has seen a dip in sales of about 11% to start the year after posting solid numbers in 2008. Most companies are experiencing similar results as America is faced with one of the toughest economic downturns in history.

Marty owns season tickets to the Cleveland Indians and Cleveland Cavaliers. With the tough economic times, one would think Marty has stopped attending games and sold his tickets to make up for the loss of income.

Or has he?

Marty splits a dugout suite Progressive Field with 6 other guys. He says that everyone of them is back for the 2009 season.  At a cost of $248,000 this year, Marty’s portion of the package is over $41,000. That doesn’t even include food and beverages on game day. No one especially wants to miss the dessert cart. I have personally been in the suite and win or lose; the dessert cart is a highlight of the location! The seats are so close to the field you can even spit on the on deck hitter. I know my kid tried two years ago!

Marty hasn’t given up his Cavs seats either. In fact, Marty or his clients attended all 41 Cavaliers home games in 2008-09. According to ESPN.Go.Com, the Cavaliers averaged 20,010 fans per night this season, slightly down from their 2007-08 showing of 20,465 per night. Marty says he noticed a great turnout at every Cavs game he attended, “the place was pretty much full every time,” he stated.

So, if Marty feels this way, how about the rest of America? Are fans no longer attending events because they can’t afford it? Not according to Harmon Howe, whose job it is to manage ticket partners for the world’s largest secondary market exchange, TicketNetwork Exchange™. “What’s happened is the average price of a transaction has dropped from last year by about 15%,” stated Howe, “the number of transactions has gone up substantially, about 75%.”

“Instead of going to Disney World for a week, parents are taking their children to a kid’s concert,” said Howe. Although, he really feels economic pressure has pushed down the price of a seat, he offered this, “fans don’t want to miss the opportunity to see an artist or musical group that may not tour for several years or never again.” U2 and Aerosmith are two very popular groups that fit this category and have been very profitable in the secondary market.

Carol-Ann Rudy of www.TicketNews.com supports Howe in her article written for the website on April 22, 2009. Rudy cites Broadway sales are up over $26 million versus last year at this time. Wicked continues to hold the top spot in all of secondary market ticket sales. According to the sites ranking system, the popular musical has more market share than the four shows ranked directly below the show combined!

A USA Today poll launched in March asked, “How will the economic downturn affect your sports consumption?” As of April 28th, 48% of responders say they will, “attend fewer events and watch more TV” and 36% of pollsters say the economy will have no effect at all!

So, despite an almost bare economy where company revenue is down, Marty Rice will jump into his 2005 Chrysler 300M, head up I-71 to Quicken Loans Arena and follow the Cavaliers throughout the rest of their playoff run. LeBron James is the favorite to win the MVP award and his team had the best regular season record at home this year in the NBA. According to Marty, it’s worth the money he will spend to sit in Club Section 124. Yep, Marty thinks it would be “bull” to sell his playoff tickets or any other ticket he owns at this point. He feels, “the excitement of the playoffs has overridden the economy.”

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